A real and funny essay by a student in IAS exam

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This is the essay on "Cow" which was (supposedly) written by some student 
in the course of completing the "Indian Civil Services Examination" :-) 

I bet you will enjoy this.

Sachi

PS : There are no typos in this essay. Everything is legal and as it was
     written in the exam.If you develop cramps reading this or find your
     English gone haywire after reading this, please dont blame me :-) 

___________________________________________________________________________

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian
cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is 
female, he give milk,but will do so when he is got child.He is same like
God,sacred to Hindus and useful to man.But he has got four legs together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do?
Various ghee, butter,cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species.  Also his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating.  Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in
the inside of the mouth.  He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is 
got child.  This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great 
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals.  It has hairs on the
other end of the other side.  This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.  So the grasses head is not
crushed.  At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts
his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

25 Ultimate Tips For Better Life You Should Follow

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25 ULTIMATE TIPS FOR BETTER LIFE!!!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE.
It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli,
and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for
everything !

11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years,
will this matter?’

17. Help the needy,Be generous ! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed ,Pray to God and Be thankful
for what you’ll accomplish, today !

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25.Share this to everyone on your list to help them lead a happier
life…!!!!

[[ DENGUE FEVER TREATMENT: HOME REMEDIES OF DENGUE ]]

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[[ DENGUE FEVER TREATMENT: HOME REMEDIES OF DENGUE ]]
Symptoms of Dengue fever are :
• Headache
• Fever
• Exhaustion
• Severe joint and muscle pain
• Swollen glands
• Rashes over the body.
• Patient suffering from Dengue fever may also show sign of bleeding gums, severe pain behind the eyes, and red palms and soles

डेंगू के लक्षण :- तीव्र ज्वर, सर में तेज़ दर्द, आँखों के पीछे दर्द होना, उल्टियाँ लगना, त्वचा का सुखना तथा खून के प्लेटलेट की मात्रा का तेज़ी से कम होना डेंगू के कुछ लक्षण हैं जिनका यदि समय रहते इलाज न किया जाए तो रोगी की मृत्यु भी सकती है l
DENGUE TREATMENT :
1. POMEGRANATE JUICE CURE FOR DENGUE FEVER:
Pomegranate and black grape juice helps in increasing the blood platelet count to a great extent.

2. Wheatgrass Juice:- Wheatgrass is know to increase Platelet count and increase in HB level, RBC, Total WBC and different WBC count. wheatgrass increases in Platelet count.
3. Papaya Leaf Cure for Dengue Fever
cure for Dengue is papaya leaf. The juice or pulp made from this plant has been found to be quite effective not only in fighting the symptoms of dengue fever, but also in curing it.
How to Prepare Papaya Leaf Juice at Home
(1.) The Juice Method. For this method, it is recommended to extract the juice out of papaya leaves by crushing. After removing the stems and other fibrous parts you should crush the other part, the greener one. You can use a cloth filter or any other type of device to squeeze the juice out. However, remember that the leaves have to be fresh. If you don’t use raw fresh papaya leaves, the outcome might not be that good and the positive effect will be minimized. You need about two leaves for each treatment. Take two tablespoons of juice every six hours, three times a day and you will certainly feel better.
(2.) The Paste Method. You can use a food processor or a grinder to turn the leaves into a paste. However, because it is quite bitter, it is recommended to mix it with some fresh juice. Take four teaspoons twice a day. After three days to one week, you will see the difference.

4. Ghiloy Ghan Wati : Recommend by Swami Ram Dev
You can get this medicine in Swami Ram Dev ‘s store. Take 3 medicnes a day.
Or ….
As per Swami Ramdev’s formula take a foot long branch of Giloy herb (Tinospora cordifolia) and 7 Leaf of Tulsi plant. Mix them together and extract juice of this mixture in a pot. Boil this juice and drink it.
Fig (Angeer) , Apple is also useful and helps in increasing blood.
डेंगू बुखार का इलाज : आजकल डेंगू एक बड़ी समस्या के तौर पर उभरा है, पुरे भारत में ये बड़ी तेजी से बढ़ता ही जा रहा है जिससे कई लोगों की जान जा रही है l यह एक ऐसा वायरल रोग है जिसका माडर्न मेडिकल चिकित्सा पद्धति में कोई इलाज नहीं है परन्तु आयुर्वेद में इसका इलाज है और वो इतना सरल और सस्ता है कि उसे कोई भी कर सकता है l
यदि आपके आस-पास किसी को यह रोग हुआ हो और खून में प्लेटलेट की संख्या कम होती जा रही हो तो चित्र में दिखाई गयी चार चीज़ें रोगी को दें :
१) अनार जूस
२) गेहूं घास रस
३) पपीते के पत्तों का रस
४) गिलोय/अमृता/अमरबेल सत्व

अनार जूस तथा गेहूं घास रस नया खून बनाने तथा रोगी की रोग से लड़ने की शक्ति प्रदान करने के लिए है, अनार जूस आसानी से उपलब्ध है यदि गेहूं घास रस ना मिले तो रोगी को सेब का रस भी दिया जा सकता है l
- पपीते के पत्तों का रस सबसे महत्वपूर्ण है, पपीते का पेड़ आसानी से मिल जाता है उसकी ताज़ी पत्तियों का रस निकाल कर मरीज़ को दिन में २ से ३ बार दें , एक दिन की खुराक के बाद ही प्लेटलेट की संख्या बढ़ने लगेगी l
- गिलोय की बेल का सत्व मरीज़ को दिन में २-३ बार दें, इससे खून में प्लेटलेट की संख्या बढती है, रोग से लड़ने की शक्ति बढती है तथा कई रोगों का नाश होता है l यदि गिलोय की बेल आपको ना मिले तो किसी भी नजदीकी पतंजली चिकित्सालय में जाकर “गिलोय घनवटी” ले आयें जिसकी एक एक गोली रोगी को दिन में 3 बार दें l यदि बुखार १ दिन से ज्यादा रहे तो खून की जांच अवश्य करवा लें l यदि रोगी बार बार उलटी करे तो सेब के रस में थोडा नीम्बू मिला कर रोगी को दें, उल्टियाँ बंद हो जाएंगी l ये रोगी को अंग्रेजी दवाइयां दी जा रही है तब भी यह चीज़ें रोगी को बिना किसी डर के दी जा सकती हैं l
डेंगू जितना जल्दी पकड़ में आये उतना जल्दी उपचार आसान
हो जाता है और रोग जल्दी ख़त्म होता है l